What More Canst I do for Thou?

This is probably day 235. I have been working at this day care thing for about 7 and a half months now. I did finished the certificate and mailed it in. I suppose that will take a while to get back. When I do I am going to ask for a raise. I make a whole 7 bucks an hour. I am going to ask for a fifty dollar raise. These day care kids are horrible. I mean bad. All five year old boys. But I sometimes get girls from other classes and omigod. What is with kids these days? (ouch..I am old.) No matter what I say. No matter what I do. If I talk loud..if I talk soft..If I bribe them...if I threaten them...nothing will make them behave. Nothing. Even if they go into the boss' office and she talks to them. They come back crying and say I am sorry. Then 6 minutes later they are at it again. I only want them to NOT hurt themselves. Thats all. Well, Ok, I also would like them to stop calling me chubby, and asking me if I am 100 years old, I would like them to stop cussing, and saying poop, and penis and vagina. I also would like them to not yell at me and stop saying NO to me all the time..Please and thank you would go a long way..and please, for the love of God stop picking your nose and eating it! Are these kids "Lord of the Fives", "Children of the Corn", "Devil Spawn", "Pirate Children of the Carribean"?